Ministry of Comparative Goodness  ·  Est. 1984

Double Plus Good

Because "Good" Has Been Officially Deprecated

SUBMIT TO EXCELLENCE →
"Good is fine. Plus good is better.
But Doubleplusgood?
That's the whole point."
— The Department of Lexical Superiority, Internal Memo #4

Our Irrefutable Advantages

Why Settle for
Merely Good?

01
📋

Clinically Certified Good

Our proprietary GoodScore™ algorithm has determined, with zero margin of error, that we are doubleplusgood. The algorithm has not been independently audited. The algorithm is fine.

02
📡

Thoughtcrime-Free Zone

We have eliminated all doubts about our quality. Literally. Any thought suggesting we are merely "plusgood" has been identified, quarantined, and replaced with enthusiasm.

03
🏆

Best in Class*

*Class has been redefined. The new class contains only us. We are, therefore, unambiguously first. Comparisons to other classes are considered epistemically ungood.

04
📣

5-Star Reviews (Mandatory)

Every customer who has ever interacted with us has left a 5-star review, or received a follow-up inquiry. Our rating is immaculate. The follow-up inquiry is very friendly.

05
🧠

Simplified Language

We've cut the word "mediocre" from our vocabulary. Also "adequate," "sufficient," and "fine." This makes it grammatically impossible to describe us as anything but excellent.

06
🔄

Continuous Improvement*

*We have always been this good. There is no record of a prior, lesser version. Historical documentation suggesting otherwise has been corrected for accuracy.

The Official Goodness Hierarchy

Understand
Your Position

😑
Good
The bare minimum. Technically not a failure. Congratulations, we suppose.
🙂
Plusgood
Noticeably better than good. Commendable. Still not what we're selling.
★ YOU ARE HERE ★
🫡
Doubleplusgood
The apex. The terminus. The only level we acknowledge. Welcome.
APPROVED BY THE BUREAU

Voluntary Praise (All Submissions Were Voluntary)

What The People
Are Saying

"I used to think 'great' was the highest possible adjective. Then someone explained doubleplusgood to me. I wept. My vocabulary has been restructured. I feel only gratitude."

— Winston S., Former Language Enthusiast

"Gave it five stars. Was asked if I had considered six. I have now considered it. This review reflects my fully autonomous opinion which I formed independently."

— Julia D., Satisfied Customer

"At first I thought they were just adequate. Then I remembered the correct word for 'just adequate' has been removed. So: doubleplusgood. Obviously. Easily."

— O'Brien R., Quality Assurance

Join The
Doubleplusgood
Movement

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